Journal: April 4, 2021

Be careful what you ask for. It’s been a little over a week since my second brain spotting therapy.  I’ve had flashbacks and more dissociation than normal.  The extra dissociation has affected my ability to focus making it difficult to be stay on task and be efficient at work. The dust from the flashbacks haveContinue reading “Journal: April 4, 2021”

Journal: March 29, 2021

We’ve had our second brain spotting session.  It was a very different experience. During a previous therapy session with our therapist, we were asked if we could see the beauty in the toddler that we were.  We couldn’t.  I tried to work with the therapist’s request in meditation and experienced unexpected difficulties.  I chose toContinue reading “Journal: March 29, 2021”

Journal: March 12, 2021

Brainspotting was a very positive experience for us yesterday.  The Brainspotting therapist talked briefly with us at the beginning of our session.  We started Brainspotting by closing our eyes and grounding.  Then the therapist asked us to open our eyes and allow our eyes to look around the room until they found a place ourContinue reading “Journal: March 12, 2021”

Journal: March 5, 2021

Being back to work is great, but the schedule doesn’t leave a lot of time for journaling.  I’ve had a couple journal threads composing in my head.   Of course by the time I sit down at the computer I don’t remember them. The portraits are coming along nicely.  I’m ready to start the astrology portraitContinue reading “Journal: March 5, 2021”

Journal: February 6, 2021

I’m reading “Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook”, by Deborah Bray Haddock.  I like it because it is an easy read, written in such a way that the average reader is engaged and comprehending.  I’ve gotten to a section of the book where she is discussing how DID is not just something awful that we’ve survived, butContinue reading “Journal: February 6, 2021”

Journal: December 31, 2020

I’ve lost momentum on the portraits – a complete stop.  I’m depressed.  The husband has been mean and shouty to us for the last two days.  I sit here and stare at nothing at all while my brain just grinds over and over disjointed thoughts.  Half-hearted motivations to do something anything.  Frequently something, anything isContinue reading “Journal: December 31, 2020”

Journal: December 27, 2020

The Christmas holiday is over.  It’s been a year since the flashbacks led to awareness of the trauma I survived as a three-year-old at Christmas. This holiday season was much easier, more peaceful.  No more revelations.   Christmas music wasn’t a trigger this year.  A huge breath of relief and a prayer of thanks has beenContinue reading “Journal: December 27, 2020”

Journal: December 24, 2020

What’s my name is a tricky question.  Frequently the answer depends on where I’m at and who I’m with.  In other blog posts on Lark In The Dark I’ve referred to a group of us named ‘the ones who work’.  Where we work requires the use of a handheld radio.  When we started our currentContinue reading “Journal: December 24, 2020”

February 2020

The morning had a rocky start.  The husband was in a bad mood that morning and was aggressively unpleasant when he took me to work. When I got to work I felt stressed and disoriented.  Things at work required focus and problem solving.  I wasn’t up for it.  My anxiety levels were so high IContinue reading “February 2020”