Journal: February 6, 2021

I’m reading “Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook”, by Deborah Bray Haddock.  I like it because it is an easy read, written in such a way that the average reader is engaged and comprehending.  I’ve gotten to a section of the book where she is discussing how DID is not just something awful that we’ve survived, butContinue reading “Journal: February 6, 2021”

Journal: December 31, 2020

I’ve lost momentum on the portraits – a complete stop.  I’m depressed.  The husband has been mean and shouty to us for the last two days.  I sit here and stare at nothing at all while my brain just grinds over and over disjointed thoughts.  Half-hearted motivations to do something anything.  Frequently something, anything isContinue reading “Journal: December 31, 2020”

Journal: December 27, 2020

The Christmas holiday is over.  It’s been a year since the flashbacks led to awareness of the trauma I survived as a three-year-old at Christmas. This holiday season was much easier, more peaceful.  No more revelations.   Christmas music wasn’t a trigger this year.  A huge breath of relief and a prayer of thanks has beenContinue reading “Journal: December 27, 2020”

Journal: December 24, 2020

What’s my name is a tricky question.  Frequently the answer depends on where I’m at and who I’m with.  In other blog posts on Lark In The Dark I’ve referred to a group of us named ‘the ones who work’.  Where we work requires the use of a handheld radio.  When we started our currentContinue reading “Journal: December 24, 2020”

February 2020

The morning had a rocky start.  The husband was in a bad mood that morning and was aggressively unpleasant when he took me to work. When I got to work I felt stressed and disoriented.  Things at work required focus and problem solving.  I wasn’t up for it.  My anxiety levels were so high IContinue reading “February 2020”

Journal January 2020

Our experience with Facebook DID groups is that the group seems to function how we imagine group therapy to be. We are posting here our side of conversations we have participated in or posts that we have started as a way of trying to understand what is happening with us. January 5; incontinence and dissociation

Experiment With Gratitude

One of our aspects, ‘The One Who Rages’, is part of a group of aspects that forms our work identity, ‘Those of Us Who Work’.  The One Who Rages (OWR) role in the Lark in the Dark system is enforcing rules.  OWR’s original teacher was an abuser who used rage and negative reinforcement tactics.  OWRContinue reading “Experiment With Gratitude”

Journal – December 2019

Our experience with Facebook DID groups is that the group seems to function how we imagine group therapy to be. We are posting here our side of conversations we have participated in or posts that we have started as a way of trying to understand what is happening with us.

A Breath At A Time

The week after the Christmas party a co-worker, moved by the Christmas spirit, begins to sing a Bing Crosby Christmas carol.  The flashbacks begin.  This was one of the songs the radio played the night we were raped by the family friend.    The family friend would sing to me when the bad things happened.  IContinue reading “A Breath At A Time”