Journal: March 12, 2021

Brainspotting was a very positive experience for us yesterday.  The Brainspotting therapist talked briefly with us at the beginning of our session.  We started Brainspotting by closing our eyes and grounding.  Then the therapist asked us to open our eyes and allow our eyes to look around the room until they found a place our eyes were drawn to look at.  This was the part that worried me.  What if my eyes looked around the room and didn’t find a place they were drawn to look at?

I had no cause for worry because it didn’t take long for my eyes to settle on a place above and to the right of me.  The therapist asked me what I felt and at what intensity on a scale of one to ten.  I felt sadness at an intensity level of seven.  The therapist then asked me what color it was.  It was a reddish-brown color in my aura just setting there on the body, but not in the body.  The therapist then asked me how I could release it.  I could release it by breathing it out, which I did.  The therapist asked me what intensity level and color it was.  The sadness was an intensity of a 4 and a muddy pink color.  The emotion then changed to a sense of futility at an intensity of 9.  I breathed it out again and the emotion was gone.  My aura was brighter, more free, and expanding out further than we’d be aware of it before.

The therapist asked us to scan ourselves.  We noted a tight feeling on our jaw and we could see a hand gripping the back of our neck.  We wanted it gone.  Therapist asked us to tell the hand to let go of us.  The hand would not let go.  We tried to breath the hand gone and it stayed.  We flooded the hand with white light from the source of all that is and asked our spiritual guides to help us.  The hand let us go.  The tightness in the jaw was released.

There was 20 minutes remaining in our hour long therapy session.  We spent the remainder of it talking about my Brainspotting experience and dissociation.  I felt very rejuvenated.  It has been a very long time since I experienced and used energetic healing as I did in the Brainspotting session.  We have been a master level energy healer for about 30 years.  We’ve done energy work similar to Brainspotting with our clients before.  I realize in this moment that I don’t know if Brainspotting is intended to be an energy healing experience or if that is just where we went it because we are energy healers.  I feel reconnected to my spiritual self – I’ve been adrift for a very long time. 

Today I had my normal (non-brainspotting) therapy appointment.  We talked about brain spotting and my experience.  Then our conversation developed on its own.  At one point we mentioned the husband by name.  The therapist asked who is this person you named.  We said ‘our husband.’  The therapist said ‘you’ve always called him the husband and not by a name before.’  We smiled with delight and said ‘That is because I am the wife.’  We had our first awareness as the wife in talking with the therapist.  Progress.  It is a good feeling.

Published by larkinthedark

In the 1990's I was diagnosed with Fractured Personality Disorder. I successfully integrated. Earlier this year (2019) a series of events have me dealing with dissociated states again. Fractured Personality Disorder is now called Dissociative Identity Disorder.

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