Depression has been worsening. It takes a lot of energy to get up from the couch. Boredom is palpable, pressing me down into the space that I sit. All the things that there is to do I’ve done before and there is no urge to do them again. Inertia. I’m reminded of a piece ofContinue reading “Journal: January 19, 2021”
I’ve lost momentum on the portraits – a complete stop. I’m depressed. The husband has been mean and shouty to us for the last two days. I sit here and stare at nothing at all while my brain just grinds over and over disjointed thoughts. Half-hearted motivations to do something anything. Frequently something, anything isContinue reading “Journal: December 31, 2020”
The Christmas holiday is over. It’s been a year since the flashbacks led to awareness of the trauma I survived as a three-year-old at Christmas. This holiday season was much easier, more peaceful. No more revelations. Christmas music wasn’t a trigger this year. A huge breath of relief and a prayer of thanks has beenContinue reading “Journal: December 27, 2020”
What’s my name is a tricky question. Frequently the answer depends on where I’m at and who I’m with. In other blog posts on Lark In The Dark I’ve referred to a group of us named ‘the ones who work’. Where we work requires the use of a handheld radio. When we started our currentContinue reading “Journal: December 24, 2020”
I’ve begun therapy again. And, as usual, therapy asks for a journal to be kept. Not that I begrudge the journal it’s a good practice. Just that we’ve fallen out of the habit. Feeling a bit tongue tied at the moment. Or rather trying to sort the message from the chorus of words in myContinue reading “Journal: December 14, 2020”
The morning had a rocky start. The husband was in a bad mood that morning and was aggressively unpleasant when he took me to work. When I got to work I felt stressed and disoriented. Things at work required focus and problem solving. I wasn’t up for it. My anxiety levels were so high IContinue reading “February 2020”
Trigger Warning: Flashbacks, Sexual Abuse Day 1 We close our eyes intending to sleep. Instead we see a dimly lit room. We open our eyes and move beneath the covers. We are back in the now, in our bed.
Our experience with Facebook DID groups is that the group seems to function how we imagine group therapy to be. We are posting here our side of conversations we have participated in or posts that we have started as a way of trying to understand what is happening with us. January 5; incontinence and dissociation
One of our aspects, ‘The One Who Rages’, is part of a group of aspects that forms our work identity, ‘Those of Us Who Work’. The One Who Rages (OWR) role in the Lark in the Dark system is enforcing rules. OWR’s original teacher was an abuser who used rage and negative reinforcement tactics. OWRContinue reading “Experiment With Gratitude”
Our experience with Facebook DID groups is that the group seems to function how we imagine group therapy to be. We are posting here our side of conversations we have participated in or posts that we have started as a way of trying to understand what is happening with us.