Neurofeedback: Second Protocol

The second neurofeedback protocol focused on the trauma center of my brain.  Very quickly, things started to go crazy at home.  My husband and I began to have truly ugly fights.  Prior to the second protocol we’d disagree and talk it out; at most extreme we might have argued without name calling or profanity.  After the second protocol started, name calling or profanity became the new normal.  The arguments we began to have had to do with how I felt I was being treated, how my husband felt he was being treated, money I didn’t recall spending, not being able to account for time lost.   After these arguments I wasn’t receptive to reconciliation, which was another difference in my behavior from before the second protocol. 

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Aspects

This document gets updated as I learn more about the aspects, I am guessing that there are around 20 of them.  I once believed that the Aspects were individuals and had no interaction.   During the early neurofeedback sessions it became apparent that ‘The Angry One’ agreed to work with the Administrator, the Observer, and ‘Go Away’. 

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Dissociation Anecdotes

Recently:

I was settled in for one of my first neurofeedback sessions.  Although the session involves watching a video or tv show, my preference at the time was YouTube meditations.  My eyes were blinking, the images I saw in front of me were not what I saw previously.  I had a sinking feeling – I thought I might have been sleeping.   I checked in with my psychologist who reassured me I had not been sleeping based on the data from that session.

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Who is Lark In The Dark?

I was struggling to find a username for my WordPress account.  My usual screen names were taken.    Inspiration struck, ‘Lark In The Dark’, low and behold the name was available in WordPress.  I began blogging.  As a Witch I work a lot with animal spirits.  In the moment I faintly wondered at the inspiration, but the Witch wasn’t the one ‘on the keyboard’ several others were – namely the Administrator and one other.

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2019

I began to have severe short-term memory problems.  I went to see the doctor concerned that I had some kind of brain disease.  Imaging showed a physiologically perfect brain.   This was a good news/bad news result.   I don’t have brain disease (good news).   The cause of the short-term memory problems was unknown (bad news). 

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In The Beginning

It Started in the 1990’s

I had married a military man and had moved away from Colorado to Alaska.   I was in the midst of an identity crises – literally.   My first marriage was in its death throes and I was …  empty. I had no sense of identity and was suicidal, again.  I went to see a psychologist.  I had had a couple of appointments with her when she gave me a standardized test.  The results arrived and she wouldn’t tell me what the results were, but she did tell she couldn’t see me anymore. Essentially, I was fired by my shrink.  I took the rejection hard.  The psychologist did give me a couple of names and numbers for a doctor she felt more appropriate for the help I needed.

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