Aspects

This document gets updated as I learn more about the aspects, I am guessing that there are around 20 of them.  I once believed that the Aspects were individuals and had no interaction.   During the early neurofeedback sessions it became apparent that ‘The Angry One’ agreed to work with the Administrator, the Observer, and ‘Go Away’. 

The ‘Husband’ or ‘my husband’ (depending on who is speaking) is literally the spouse of the author.  It is the author’s hope to keep ‘the husband’ anonymous out of a profound desire to keep his privacy.    

The ‘One Who Cooks’ is not married and drinks Gin and Tonic.  The One Who Cooks doesn’t like the way he keeps his kitchen or cleans the house.  She neither likes or dislikes Steve.

The ‘Man’.  Don’t know much about him – and as far as we know he is the only male aspect (November 2019).  He showed up after we started reading the ‘Body Keeps The Score’.  He has the feel of one who has been around for a long time.  The Man says that he is the one who nutures the broken child.  He has been around since the beginning.   **** stopping here to acknowledge new understanding.  It is only in the keying of this document The Man stepped forward, briefly ****   The Man understands the Husband.   Don’t know if he likes the husband.  The Man (and another aspect) says the question of liking the husband is not important.  The Man did explain a few things to the husband and the husband responded well to him.  The Man (as far as we know) is a facilitator.

The ‘Angry One’ is not married and doesn’t like the husband, but then she doesn’t like anyone.  She is not nice, kind, compassionate, or any kind of ‘warm and fuzzy’.  Nor is she concerned with anyone’s feelings and does not compromise.  The Angry One is the easiest to recognize because she is the least subtle of us.   She is the one who fights with the husband, or anyone she feels is disrespecting or harmful to us.  The Angry One is also angry with the compassionate aspects because they are the ones who leave us vulnerable, and it is the Angry One who cleans up the mess.  She feels that she needed to speak up to set the husband straight and set up ground rules.  The Angry One is a protector and supports integration but is firm in her belief that it is not time yet.

Side Note:  When the Angry One refused to give an apology that the husband demanded, the other aspects couldn’t give the apology without her agreement.    And, no, the Angry One did not agree to the apology in question.  This is one of the things that leads me to believe that the aspects are communicating and working together.

‘Go Away’ is around three years old.  She speaks in emphatics and non-sentences, like ‘leave me alone’, ‘no’, ‘don’t’, ‘won’t’, ‘can’t’, … Go Away is all emotion and pain.

The ‘Administrator’ is not married and takes care of business, whatever business it is.

The ‘Witch’ is married to the husband.  There is the ‘Witch Who Was’ and the ‘Witch Who Became and Is Becoming’.  The Witch Who Was did the integration the first time.  The Witch Who Became and Is Becoming is the Witch now.  The Witch Who Was and the Witch Who Became and Is Becoming are still integrated.

The ‘Observer’ is married and a facilitator. They are the storyteller. **** the use of the word ‘they’ is very weird. I guess they are more than one aspect. I don’t understand. ****

‘Sunny’ is the sexual aspect. She is married, which complicates things. Sunny doesn’t understand what marriage has to do with having sex, yet other aspects insist that marriage is a hard boundary (meaning that the only acceptable sex partner is the husband). As far as Sunny is concerned, the best sex is the kind with no rules. But, sex as a topic causes fear and pain in the little ones – no one hurts the little ones is a law that governs all the aspects.

Is there a ‘Compassionate One’?  This was the question I woke up with this morning.  There are aspects who are compassionate, but no there is no single aspect who is the ‘Compassionate One’.

Update:  November 24, 2019

‘The One Who Rages’.  At first I thought she was the Angry One, but she is not.  The Angry One is in her 30’s.  The One Who Rages is 16.  The One Who Rages rants and rages in my head at someone (always a particular person in that moment) who is mean to me.  When the One Who Rages is given the opportunity to speak she unexpectedly retreats, frequently leaving an unsuspecting aspect holding the bag.   Usually this is an aspect that is not capable of defending herself in that situation.   The One Who Rages is suicidal, but she is all threat and bluster.  It’s as if her purpose is to keep me emotionally worked up.  She is not the aspect who attempts suicide.